What some cranks insinuate that the bed looks like,^[1] but is actually from the science fiction 2012 film Prometheus^[2]

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Med beds are a magical cure-all, or at least that's what we think they are. They don't exist,^{[citation NOT needed]} but are nevertheless popular among holders of a variety of beliefs^[3][4][5] on Facebook and TikTok.

What?[edit]

You see, depending on who you ask, med beds can be one of these things, or all at the same time:

• A cure-all:^[6] This is the more popular one.
• A device to reverse the aging process
• A device to connect with a Galactic Federation ship:^[4] Yeah.
• A device that can change your human DNA to Reptilian Satanic DNA, making you a reptilian-human hybrid^[7]

And a lot of other things. Because it doesn't exist, people can claim whatever they want about med beds.

Med beds as healing devices[edit]

Search deep enough on social media and you'll find that these devices do anything from magically creating missing limbs to curing the full range of physical and mental illnesses of humanity.^[8] How does it do this, you ask? Multiple explanations are given, but most of these "explain" that this is done through quantum physics.

Another explanation from a viral TikTok video "explains" that "its a combination of EMP and Dr. Rife's technology".^[9]

These explanations are an example of the fractal wrongness phenomenon, thus debunking this is close to impossible.

Famous users of med beds[edit]

Well, supposedly at least.

• John F. Kennedy Jr.:^[10] Remember when QAnoners met in Dallas waiting for JFK Jr.'s return and nothing happened? Instead of accepting that he really is dead, some QAnon followers used the magic of adding epicycles to make everything good again. He really is alive, with the magic of med beds he survived that accident and returned to his youthful looks, to fight alongside Trump against the deep state!

Get your med beds here![edit]

Where can you get one of these magical devices? Med bed fans don't agree on this, with some stating that this technology is being suppressed, currently for military use only,^[11] and others, of course, have them, and are willing to give one to you in exchange for your money!

If someone is offering you med bed services, you can be sure, with 100% certainty, that they are scammers. In one of the scams^[12] people interested in these services have to pay $300 through PayPal to an account using a Gmail email, provide them a lot of personal information to register, and maybe get a chance at using one of these. Needless to say, that chance will never come, but they probably will use this chance to extract as much money from their marks as they can just so they can "keep their spot on the waiting list".

Someone in Scotland, under the name "scott pattinson" (who has quite the history of requests and was banned from WhatDoTheyKnow^[13]) actually asked the country's public health system about their plans to implement med beds, receiving an answer that basically said they have no idea what they are talking about.^[14] The request was also sent to Scotland's NHS National Services, with them answering that they do "not hold this (when they will implement quantum scientific technology med beds) information".^[15]

Tesla BioHealing[edit]

Tesla BioHealing's logo. You may see their products on social media posts when searching for med bed stuff

Tesla BioHealing is a company that appears everywhere when you search for med bed-related stuff on social media. In their website they display the quack miranda warning "We cannot diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or condition". They credit their technology to Dr. James Liu,^[16] CEO of the company^[17][10] and a doctor who was accused by the FTC of misleading advertisement (but ended up just receiving a slap on the wrist) when they were selling "AsthmaCare Kit", a homeopathic treatment for asthma, for which evidence for its effectiveness is limited.^[18]

They sell a number of med bed-related articles on their online shop with outrageous prices, and also operate physical med beds centers. For example, they sell "Tesla MedBeds generator", a can that you can put under your bed for enhancing your "Life Force Energy" for the low, low price of $19.999.^[19] They like to claim that their products are FDA-registered, probably in an attempt to trick potential buyers. As explained in the FDA's website, registering is only about telling the FDA about your device. It is separate from approval, and registration of a product with them doesn't mean they approve of or promote the registered product, or that they have investigated any claims that product makes.^[20]

What do their cans contain? With their insane prices, you would think that there's gold inside. Well, one buyer that was not feeling any improvements decided to open one of their products, in this case the "Tesla BioHealer" (adult version costs $599^[21]), and found out that it contains… cement.^[22]

The sad[edit]

Because these people believe so strongly that med beds are a real thing, they can end up recommending to people suffering from either diseases that require treatments they cannot afford, or suffering from terminal diseases, to either wait until med beds have been released to the public, giving them false hope, or to buy devices like those sold by Tesla BioHealing, unknowingly helping scammers fleece the poor and needy.^[23]

Irony[edit]

One cannot help but draw parallels between med beds, a non-existent device to cure all diseases that will be made available to all the people that need it, without discrimination, and the hate that QAnon-types have of universal healthcare, an actual, real solution.

See also[edit]

• Nikola Tesla — an accomplished scientist who also had some crank ideas.

External links[edit]

• Prometheus (2012): Full-Sized Light-Up Functional Medical Pod — by "functional", they mean it can move around like in the film, not actually function as a medical device.

References[edit]